Slow dancing

I've never denied that a few years ago (maybe not even that long ago) I really didn't want kids. I never believed that I could work through my own mental/emotional issues well enough to not royally screw up my own kids, so that lack of "want" wasn't really based on ambition (or lack there of), more centered on fear. I distinctly remember reading through "Tuesdays with Morrie" (one of my favorite books...great, quick read filled with tons of thought provoking, meaningful topics!), imbibing every idea presented, and it reached the topic of love and children, how you grow in love with all the relationships you make in this world, but nothing compares to the uniqueness in the love of a child. It's not that life is incomplete without that love, that wasn't the message by any means, more that the experience of loving, caring for, teaching to, learning from, growing with a little being that's "on loan" to you for a little while is something you can't replicate anywhere else.
I've been many things in my life, I've avoided many things out of fear, but I've also boasted a fearless streak to the point of recklessness that often overcomes the paralytic forces of fear. After reading what Morrie had to share, I knew the seed had been planted in my mind, that the path for learning more about the mysteries of unconditional love (which, in my opinion, is one of the most fascinating, meaningful searches and adventures to undertake thoughout life) would likely take me to the doorsteps of parenthood, and should my higher power deem it fit, I'd be blessed to help another new soul find their way through this world.
This realization did NOT mean that my fears where not legitimate (my reactions to them may have been illogical, but the fears did overlie deeper issues), so I started working on them and with them, and as I worked with them my perspective changed, I grew bolder in venturing into more situations where love could grow...I've become (once again, my opinion only!) a much more social and friendly; much more comfortable in my own skin; a better friend; a better sibling and son; I become a husband to the most amazing woman I've ever come to know...and as fate or a higher power would have it, the path brought me to fatherhood.

So why the rambling, and what's the picture all about????
That picture was taken this morning in our living room, and you can't see it, but Mishka and Daddy are slow dancing to Norah Jones (note to all: Norah Jones has a GREAT, melodic music that is dance-able and soothing to the lil' one), occasionally I sing with the music to her. What you can see is the snuggling, she fell asleep in my arms as we were dancing away...I remember my dad (yeah Topa!) reminding me to enjoy these moments as time moves along quickly, and those unique moments move along with it. This is what Morrie was talking about, I can't tell you exactly the feeling I had dancing with my little girl, it was supreme happiness, comfort, and contentment laced with a sadness in knowing that with each step that moment has vanished, but topped with satisfaction because I lived simply in that moment, and whether or not Mishka remembers the moment, it's something that we'll share forever. I hope all parents (and parents to be!) are able to have those moments. One more step in learning about unconditional love... :)
I'm off to relearn how to salsa dance, Mishka wants to try something new for our next dance ;)
db